Ask even the most experienced coaches whether they coach themselves, and the answer is invariably that they find it very difficult.  They are fantastic at holding the space for their clients and to ask those powerful questions that shift the thinking in their client… but ask them to do it for themselves, and that’s another matter entirely!  We all get caught up in the stories of our lives and can find it difficult to step away and be objective.

Having said that, the longer you spend with a coach, the more you start to look at things like them and the more you can stand back and view a situation from another point of view.  There is also an exercise I do with my clients, taught to me by Di Kamp some years ago… where you have a team of imaginary coaches or mentors.  Robert Dilts calls it your guest house, which is a lovely way of viewing it.

Your coaches can be anyone; you can have your actual coach in there, they maybe a past teacher or mentor, a parent, an old boss or a leader or author who you don’t know personally or even a fictional character from film or novel.  Then what you do is ask them what they would say – what advice they would give or questions they would ask… so you play around with your imagination – imagine you’re them looking at what’s challenging you and see what they would say.  You can ask all of them.  Of course it’s your own subconscious mind that answers, but you’ll be amazed about what they say and how insightful they (you) are!

So yes, you can coach yourself.  The biggest challenge is finding the time and space to do it… setting aside that time in the day or week where you focus on it… and that’s where meeting with a real coach helps to make sure you do it.  In the same way that a personal trainer in the gym can make you go where your motivation flags on your own, having a date with a coach makes you take the me time you need.

If you’d like to know more, or work with a coach, please do get in touch.